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Thursday 15 January 2015

"I just have a lot of feelings..."

Having been a design student in my fourth year last year, I had to hand in a massive portfolio at the end of the year. That meant 4 weeks of straight work. From 9AM to 6PM and then from 8PM to the wee hours of the morning. I still shudder at the thought.

At the time I didn't really have the time to think about this year. And whenever I did it made me really anxious for some reason. This frustrated me to no end because I'm not generally an anxious person but change seems to bring that out in me. I went home after the year was done and still didn't really process the fact that I was done with university. I then went overseas for 3 weeks and didn't think about it and when I got back it all just hit me in the face.

I was done with university, I was still unemployed, I would be moving to another city in 3 days and I didn't even have my best friend (AKA my boyfriend) with me to help me take it on. And of course, panic set in. The thing that frustrates me the most about being panicky and anxious is that I know it is so silly and that everything will work out perfectly in the end. And if it doesn't, then I will make a plan. I always do.

Eventually I decided that I needed to let myself be miserable for a bit, let it out, get over it, splash some cold water over my head and get on with life. Because it sure as hell isn't going to stand still for some little hissy fit.

Most of the time our emotions are valid, for whatever reason. If you're feeling anxious about something, it's probably because you are anxious about something. Same goes for being sad or angry. However, we cannot let our lives be put on hold so that we can wallow in our feelings. Not doing anything about the situation you are anxious about is not going to make it go away. It's going to make you feel way worse. It may feel good for a day and half but trust me, if you have any drive at all, you will start feeling very frustrated with yourself.

Life is not fair and it will not stand still for us while we have an existential crisis (although that would be nice - I mean it's the least it could do). Being strong in the face of adversity (and I'm not saying I'm facing adversity right now) is a skill that I hope everyone is able to hone.

A thought I saw on a friend's Facebook wall earlier today: "The sun always rises and is always beautiful." And it is. You have to get up and do the thing everyday otherwise you will miss out on cool things and that will suck.

So I think that ending my posts with a song is fun because what better way to express my feelings (cue Mean Girls feelings quote) than some music?

All praise be to Brendon Urie.


I know it's cheesy. Please deal with it.

Kbye
x

1 comment:

  1. Good point - keeping emotions under wraps puts undue pressure on the fabric of our lives.

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